You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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