You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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