I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
