We're like a lot better than the average bears
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
