Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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