it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
