i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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