naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
