Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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