peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
