I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize