Sry I called you an 8
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I cannot find my penis.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
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Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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