thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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