Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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