i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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