How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
