i think i scared a bird with my dick
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
