how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you never un-have a 4some
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
