Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
