it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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