Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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