1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wish I could punch you in the face.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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