do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
