Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Text me some of your sweat
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
