hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You have to summon your inner elephant
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Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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