are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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