i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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