i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
