I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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