I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
