Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is my gift to your gina
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
