I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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