That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you didnt know i had herpes?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
