I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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