weddingsv make me drug and hornr
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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