who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
