His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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