You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
