He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
