You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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