found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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