Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sarcasm needs its own font
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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