My room smells like vodka and shame
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
