You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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