it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
