Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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