THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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