I can text with my tongue
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
