need another drink. this is the easiest way
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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