is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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