There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
