I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wear drunk well.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
