put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
