Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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