Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
