She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
