What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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