what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
