I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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