Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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